Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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