Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
