Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
