OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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