Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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