Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
