I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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