wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
