You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
