How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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