Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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