Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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