she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
