When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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