I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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