its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
