WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Randomize
