Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
