i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
