i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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