I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
