I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
