yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize