Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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