I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
