I CAN MOONWALK!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Sext me about skeletons
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
