She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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