Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize