I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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