I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize