Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
