Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
