playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
