You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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