hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
