stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
