that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
