im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
