Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
