The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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