would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My dad just said "fuck circus"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize