I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
