Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
