After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize