I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
