I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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