What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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