i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
