apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
