dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize
