Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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