does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
