I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
