More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
