Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
