Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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