I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
