my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I know her cup size but not her name....
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