Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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