My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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