I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
