Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
