I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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