That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
