Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
