you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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