But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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