You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
