I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
