If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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