so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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