this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
