Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Is it because I queefed?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Drunk is not a location!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
