it hurts more in the daytime
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
