I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
