So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
