Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
