She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
