i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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