She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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